Tuesday, September 22, 2009


since school has been ever so stressful already, we've decided to take a break and go to our favorite activity...tuesday night trivia! bonus: my tuesday night class got canceled! woo! as much as i love food microbiology and sanitation, i think my time is far better spent racking my brain for ridiculous facts i definitely never knew. but hey, making up answers is half the fun. (let's be honest, winning is more fun, so hopefully i know some answers.) we're currently recruiting for our team, so i'm not sure what it will shape up to look like yet, but hopefully we'll get all the categories covered. wikipedia is ever so helpful in studying for said endevours but somehow, i always seem to mess up the dates, or the names, or something. maybe i should start taking ginger supplements so my memory gets stronger.

on another fun note, i recently wrote a customer complaint to starbucks. yes, i was that customer. after spending a summer working in customer support/relations, i've learned 2 important facts. 1) companies LOVE customer feedback. 2) it never hurts to ask. the last few times i've gotten iced bevs from starbucks, the cup has leaked. a lot. which is a huge problem when through the duration of my walk to campus, i move fast and am almost always carrying a iced bev. sloshing iced coffee+white shirt=permanent stains. i sent in a complaint about a week and half ago and lo and behold, i got a response today! let's go giant corporations! they admit they're new "eco-friendly" cups have not met their expectations in terms of lid-to-cup grip. love it. so brian h from starbies is going to send me coupons. honestly i didn't even want a free beverage (though it certainly never hurts) but i would love if they would change their cups. walking into a class with coffee down your shirt is just not the kind of first impression i like to make.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

housewarming hooligans

clearly, we need to become more reliable about updating. who knew school was such a time-consuming endeavor?! senior year has started with a bang, including the senior soiree in our student center that involved lots of free wine. unfortunately i had to leave early to head to my tuesday night food microbiology and sanitation class (womp womp.) certain people(s), who shall remain unnamed, enjoyed the free wine, and the trip to the bar afterward a little too much. eff my life for being "responsible." oh well.

on thursday we had our housewarming party. probably not the best idea (sorry neighbors!) the cops came twice and eventually broke it up but we ended up with an apt full of fun people. consider our house officially warmed! now fall is in full swing, the leaves are starting to crisp up and it is quickly turning toward sweater weather!

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

It Is Now Post-Labor Day.

Hm so we got a little lazy with the updating and I really hope we didn't lose loyal fans. We took a little break from our unridiculous NYC lives and escaped to the suburbs. But don't even worry-we're back and better than ever. I hope you all just started singing-"the Hess truck's back and it's better than ever, for CHRISTMAS this year, the Hess truck's here!" My dad used to buy me one every Christmas but he hates them now because they're too fancy and not classic enough for his liking.

Anyway, I'm currently at work trying to kill this last half hour before I head off to my last-first day of school! Well, that might not be entirely true if I decide to follow through on my new life plan but we shall see.

The post-Labor Day title I just typed reminded me that we can now no longer wear white. And then I researched WHY because, really, why? The original rule was something along the lines of saying white shoes can only be worn between Memorial Day and Labor Day-but fear not, "white tennis shoes and off-white boots seem exempt, as are any shoes worn by a winter bride." It made me chuckle because Morgz and I were laughing over a certain pair of white shoes the other day. Lets hope that chica follows the no-white-shoes rule.

The other day I left a fun message in a bottle in the middle of the lake in Central Park. I get it's like littering but c'mon, it's cute. It could be my future BFF that picks it up or my future husband! Or an infant. Either way, I'm not TOO sure if I want to be friends with someone that picks garbage up out of the lake but then again, if I saw a message in a bottle I know I'd be intrigued enough to get it. So as of today, I still haven't heard back (I obvs left my name and number on the note) but it WAS a holiday weekend and people get busy, ya know? Just keeping faith alive. I bet it floated over to the make-out/sexy-time corner we VLOGGED about earlier in the summer. Grossy.

Friday, August 28, 2009

last saturday night, an 0ff-duty bouncer stopped in to say hi to his friends at forbidden city on avenue a and 13th st (mere blocks from my apartment) and while he was there a scuffle broke out over what's been reported as some woman that men were fighting over. one of the guys ran to his truck, pulled a gun, and the bouncer got caught in the middle, trying to break it up, got shot and died. i heard about it monday morning when i came into work and was reading all the news from the weekend. i couldn't exactly place which storefront forbidden city is so i looked it up on yelp and was absolutely disgusted by the "review" someone posted about their night of the shooting:

"There was a shooting in front of this lounge last nite, I happened to be there earlier in the evening and left about an hour prior to the shooting. Crowd was a little ghetto and cheesy during the time I was there. Obviously , with news of the shooting and the crowd, I most likely will not return."

is this person serious? how is that, in any shape or form an appropriate reaction. a human life was taken, i hardly think it's the time to judge the crowd! the whole situation is just completely heartbreaking and unnecessary. everything that has been written about the bouncer paints him as a well-loved and respected electrician by day, bouncer by night just trying to support his family. he left behind two children, a teenage girl and boy. apparently he adopted the boy after the boy's mother died of cancer. life is just so unfair for them... the neighborhood apparently feels the same way and has banded together to support the children. i found this note posted on another blog, EV Grieve:

"East Village bars Drop Off Service, Planet Rose, Forbidden City, Common Ground, Habibi Lounge, and Superdive will donate 50% of their register on Monday, Aug. 31 (all day and night) to set up a college fund for the children of murdered bouncer Eric “Taz” Pagan."

unfortunately i will be at home and can't participate, but i wish i could. for all of you still in the big apple, i highly recommend supporting this community and family.

Friday, August 21, 2009


i second ami's description of our fabulous morning (which has left me a tad bleary-eyed at work today, but such is the price i'm willing to pay for a free event.)

the problem, however, is ami's sentence towards the end of the post which included the words, "beat off tween jerks." am i the only one to notice the perverseness of such a sentence? maybe i just need to get my mind out of the gutter...

p.s. the sky is now BLACK outside and i just heard a deep rumble of thunder whilst sitting in the very inside of my building. great.

The Rest Is Still Unwritten

So if any of you were up today at 7-9 AM and happened to be watching NBC, you probs saw us LIVE on television. I was fortunate enough to win free tickets to see Natasha Bedingfield on the Today show and the only REAL catch of these summer concert series shows is that you're expected to beat the sun and get there SUPER early. So at 5:20 this morning, we were actually awake and heading to the show. The sun literally was not out yet. After I made a TOTAL fool of myself trying to get into the actual concert area, we made our way to a little caged section. In front of all the plebeian folk, obvs.

Now I expected it to be full of little kiddies that I could EASILY see over but there were a surprising amount of grown, adult MEN and women there. This giant bean pole of a boy totally obstructed my view but we luckily pushed through and made it to another caged area. I was literally INCHES away from Natash (nickname basis now) as she hugged and photographed the boy next to me that literally started to cry/shake when he saw her. I pretty much had every inch of my personal bubble invaded by this obnoxious tween jerk next to me. She was leaning over me to get pictures of the HOSTS and Morgan had to literally remind her that I was a human that she was nearly knocking over. Morgan's always got my back. Natash was great live and we got solid camera time that was confirmed by Kelsey's dad. We got sweet swag as well so all in all it was a great trip. If you are willing to wake up at 5ish, stand for 3 hours straight and beat off tween jerks, it's totally worth it. If you're shorter than I am, I'd recommend watching from home though. It's a fun feeling getting on the subway at 9 to see the work go-ers knowing you ALREADY had SUCH a day.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

i never meant to start a war

i've had jordin sparkss' battlefield stuck in my head on a continuous loop for over two days now. thanks, friends (especially katherine) who introduced it to me while at home in the car. i decided to pay it forward and inform all of the call-center girls what gem of a song had been plaguing me, so now they are all equally tortured by it. gaby even busted out into random bursts of "battlefield" here and there all afternoon. great. our boss was very pleased by our antics.

, they did nothing to actually rid me of the song. there are all these old wives tales about how to get a song out of your head, such as listen to it (next! that's pretty much solidified it in my brain) or get another song stuck in your head (now tell me, how does that solve anything?) even the most beautifully written songs loose their wonder once stuck in between your medulla oblongata (kanye west anyone? who knew he knew such big words?!) and your, well, rest of the brain. gahh i'm hoping once i get home and blast it anywhere between 3 - 20 times, my mind will be cured of this ailment, but i have a sneaking suspicion that will only make it worse.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Being Sexy is Our Hobby..

Just an update. I sent a carefully crafted list of names which I obvs over thought and picked names that would lead to a fulfilling life for this new little baby. They disregarded ALL of my efforts and named the baby Yug. That's not a typo. My family never ceases to amaze me.

I think I've finally hit my wall of summer working. My amiga Jessica is currently in Peru volunteering in the jungle. She has been there for hmm four days and her mom has already texted me to inform me that she has a pet monkey. A pet monkey. SO typical. I do wish I was on this wild aventure with her. But now that she has an over-sized hiking backpack, we pretty much have the PERFECT excuse to go backpacking soon. Those backpacks are expensive afterall, and I would hate to let it go to waste. Being in Boston for the weekend was some solid R&R time and I am now a few shades darker. The beach was glorious and I saw FIVE shooting stars in ONE sitting. Jason was with me and saw zero so I think I have a magical gift of shooting star sight. If you know me, you know shooting stars equal magic so I was a very happy child all weekend.

Morgan also took us to Massachusettes' famed eatery, Dunkin' Donuts. She ACTUALLY believed Jason had never been to one until then. Silly morgz, how could you EVER forget Dunkin' Donuts in the lobby?

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

can the real emilee please stand up?

BIG NEWS. (i feel like i'm doing a neutrogena commercial.)

sonic is coming to the north shore of boston! that's right. finally. Rt 1 north in peabody will be graced with sonic very, very soon. we passed it last night on the way to the bus station (we went home for the weekend for some r&r) and midsentence, ami and i gasped at exactly the same time in the exact same tone and genuineness (i think we terrified my mom and kelsey) it's truly thrilling that years and years after wishing and hoping, we finally get one. now, i don't know when construction will be completed (i imagine in awhile) but the carports appeared close to done so keep your fingers crossed! chocolate mini bundt cake here i come!

in other news...emilee (the boring girl who has ADHD on this season of the real world) was spotted at the bar we went to for reggae night on sunday. but due to her extremely generic looks, we spotted at least 4 look-alikes before the real emilee was identified.

clearly, we had a thrilling weekend. oh suburbia, how i love you!

Thursday, August 13, 2009

surf's up

sorry it's been a week since my last post, as ami said, i did venture up north across the border for some meese hunting and shooting star sightings, but i'm back and better than ever (not to mention a teensy bit tanner. just a teensy.)

i'm always amused by my walk to and from the subway in the morning. once i get to work, it's just a different sense of time, but the commute always provides me with entertainment. this morning i mixed it up a bit and got on the 6 at 23rd street after moving in last night to our brand new apartment! (i feel like a game show host. and the winner is....YOU) Anyway, I was crossing lex on 23rd street when i passed a guy carrying a dean&deluca canvas bag (pretty typical for the city) and a SURFBOARD. yes, a legit surfboard. where, pray tell, are you going to use a surfboard in manhattan?! i wasn't the only person perplexed by such a sighting as a toothless hobo approached the dude (as he clearly cannot be described in any other way) and questioned him about the board as well. i had my headphones in and in my morning haze didn't think to take them out to listen to the response, but surfer dude was completely engaged in the conversation as well. the whole exchange made me chuckle as well.

once i got to work and checked my email, i found this website in my daily candy email.


daily candy provides me with a ton of info about what's going on in nyc and everywhere ( i get two different email blasts) sometimes the info is useless, but often it's pretty intriguing. today's was probably my favorite ever. 25 pencils every month for 25 months??? GENIUS. i am totally the sucker who would be obsessed with such a concept. obviously i was also the kid who was a member of the sticker-of-the month pen pal club where you were sent a couple addresses, had to ship off multiple packs of stickers, and in return got stickers from other people. a pay-it-forward idea for kids that i loved! i wonder if such a concept exists to this day? i sure hope so. i was all for signing up for the colored pencil club until i saw the price tag. $33 a month? while i understand the value of high-quality art supplies (and $33 for 25 pencils isn't that terrible, considering they are being shipped from Japan,) those kinds of expenditures aren't exactly in my budget

Monday, August 10, 2009

I Just Need a Phone

So Morgan is off to Canada and I'm left here alone to update. I considered choosing someone to guest blog in her place, like a celebrity shot, if you will, but I don't think I trust anyone to blog quite on Morgan's level.

Saturday morning I woke up at 7 AM because my mom called to tell me she was lost on Canal Street. She wanted me to walk down to her so I could drive her up to my apartment. Now we don't live anywhere near Canal Street so I literally jumped out of bed and started running downtown in my pajamas, still in the jewels from the night before. I was trying to direct my mom over the phone but she has absolutely NO sense of direction and managed to end up in Brooklyn. I don't know HOW that was possible, but my mother is a woman of many ridiculous talents. She then couldn't decide if she was in Brooklyn or Manhattan so trying to offer her advice was useless.

So she spent the morning helping me move and after we were done, I decided it would be wise for me to drive her to Houston so she could easily get to the tunnel. So I dropped her off and started walking home (still in pajamas and jewels) and got three blocks when I realized my keys were in her car. The keys to BOTH of my apartments. On top of that, I had no cell phone. So for the first time in my 3 years of living in NYC, I picked up a pay phone.

Who knew pay phones were SO hard to use?! I literally threw 4 dollars worth of change into 3 different pay phones trying to get it to connect. I finally decided to go into a nail salon and beg. I walk in, put on my desperate, pleading voice and ask if I can pay to use her phone and she replies with "manicure, pedicure?" NO LADY. I spent a few minutes pointing at the phone, playing this stupid game of charades with the lady and after all that she replies with "no phone here." I was staring DIRECTLY at the phone as she said this.

Next stop, Indian man at a convenient store. I walk in, ask to use the phone and he picks it up, turns it on, and says, "Sorry, I'm on the phone." GREAT.

After two more failed attempts, I find a man who very wearily let me use his phone. ANNND My mother didn't answer the phone call. So I had no choice but to walk back home and just hope someone would let me in. After getting into my apartment, I spent the next few hours wallowing over the many mistakes of my past 12 hours. And then my brother informed me that he met up with my mom and got my keys for me. LOVE. I pretty much owe him big time.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Life is a Puzzle.

Hm it seems the past few weeks of posting have ALL been marriage related. And just to sum up the marriage topic, the dancing wedding couple just got even MORE fabulous. I hear they are donating the money that they recieve from publicity and whatnot to a foundation for domestic abuse-all because they used Chris Brown's song. LOVE IT. Hm but I'm concerned Morgan's cyncisim is rubbing off and I'm going to end this summer losing a bit of faith in soulmates. That would honestly depress me because the idea of soulmates makes my heart happy. But I'm beginning to see the many flaws in relationships. Hmm hmm hmm. Topic change.

It's already August and I'm very sad that I have YET to be on a beach. I did, however, purchase some crazy puzzle yesterday as a gift of fun for Morgan. This puzzle CHANGES images in front of your eyes! It's only 500 pieces so we should be able to tackle it in no time. And puzzles remind me of summer so my summer does feel a bit more complete now. I also purchased my new furniture last night which is an even BIGGER puzzle that I'm not too excited for. My attempts to rally friends to help build seems to be failing but I think I can manage.

Crazy news of the week? My family is trusting me to..name a CHILD. Not a silly pet, an actual human. I wonder if my family remembers that I named my most recent fish, Mr. Fishyman. I wasn't a child when I did this, I was a senior in high school. The fish before that were named Barbara and Lucy after my Pre-K teachers. But I have to report back by today with my decision. Some of these family traditions are a bit whack, I must say, and I have no idea why my family would trust ME-the girl who, at the age of 20, still doesn't know how to introduce herself. Silly geese. It has to start with an N or Y and I'm tempted to make up some crazy name just to see if it catches on. Yashafrash? I don't know. Names are a BIG deal. I mean, this could be the next big Bollywood star and I don't want to be the one responsible for giving him some stuffy name. My mom also informed me that I have 7 other cousins that will ask me to name their children if they follow tradition so I now have to become a naming guru! An extra skill for the resume perhaps? I think so.

I just kept telling my parents how life was SO amusing last night. I often times just LAUGH to myself thinking of it. Morgan always hears me laughing and then yells at me for withholding information. But really I'm just laughing at how fun life is. I'm just lovin' it.

kids say the darndest things

it always makes me chuckle when there are little kids on the subway during rush hour. they're so innocent and cute, and their parents always look so frazzled. commuters have zero patience for anyone who doesn't know what they are doing and little kids definitely fall into that category. strollers are especially unappreciated by the masses, but i can't help but pity the poor mothers (and fathers) who are tasked with operating the four-wheeled monster through the subway labyrinth. this morning, instead of a stroller, there was just a little four year old boy that hopped on the train in front of his frazzled father. he stood there, unsure whether to head up or down the car, surrounded by a forest of slacks and skirts, but he didn't seem entirely concerned. his dad hopped on behind him and told him to follow him. the very wrinkled man walked over to in front of an empty spot on the bench, and only then did i notice the go diego go! backpack that was maybe twelve inches tall slung over the dad's shoulder. clearly it was simply too heavy for the boy to carry. the little boy squeezed onto the seat and his dad stood in front of him, one hand on the pole to steady himself and one hand holding his son's hand. i had my earphones in for most of the ride, but just as the train was pulling up to the 51st i overheard the little boy ask his dad, "daddy, when did you put this on?" i turned to see what he was asking about and saw that he was spinning his dad's wedding ring around his finger. the dad replied, "when i married your mommy." how quaint! let me tell you, every single woman in hearing distance turned their head and smiled at the father. plus, one of the women grinning at the adorable boy was wearing an unbelievable rock on her engagement finger. all these signs of marriage are beginning to make me wonder if maybe i have it wrong and marriage is the way to go? but at the same time i'm getting many, many reminders that no, i don't think i actually do believe in it.

Friday, July 31, 2009


ami and i have been sending each other fun (or ridiculous. or depressing.) quotes back and forth all day via gchat. we're moving into our new apartment this weekend (well, sort of. we have access to it but we haven't decided when we're actually going to MOVE quite yet.) anyway, ami has decided to adorn her wall with hand-painted canvii that her friends lovingly paint. it's pretty tom sawyer of her and i'm a tiny bit jealous i didn't think of the idea. she wants to paint one for herself as well and has decided to stick to words, since art isn't exactly the business student's forte. hence the subject of quotes. there are some pretty nonsensical depressing yet amusing quotes out there. i'm going to paint one directly on my wall i've decided, a la peyton sawyer from one tree hill. some of my top favs are :

"a woman carries her clothes, but it’s a shoe which carries a woman." - christian louboutin. he must be talking about fuck me shoes

"i love every sound you don’t even know you make while you sleep at night"

"the heart is a muscle like any other and the best exercise you can
do for it is called picking yourself up off the floor."

okay. those are actually really creepy. the ones i actually like are these ones:

"we are masters of the unsaid words, but slaves of those we let slip out."

"without cracks in the sidewalks and walls, this city couldn't breath."
"if someone ever thought sunshine was perfect, they've never danced in the rain"

i'm pretty sure i really only like the last one enough to paint it on my wall and stare at it every day without turning into an 16 year old emo teeny-bopper who shops at hot topic. but if anyone else has grand ideas, holler at me!

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Crime of the Century

As random as it is, I LOVE getting calls from numbers I don't know. I just find it super thrilling for some reason, even though it's usually just a wrong number. I think this comes from my reckless high school days with Jess because THOSE unknown numbers ALWAYS led to ridiculous adventures. Anyway, today I got a call from some number while I was at work so I obvs googled it since I couldn't answer (THAT would be unprofessional). Well it was the Criminal Investigations Commander from West Orange. I was then a little concerned so I caved and called my voicemail (lets face it, my job just doesn't really require me to be THAT professional).

DRAMZ! Apparently, some girl off in West Orange was trying to comment on her boyfriend's "incident". And he thought I was the girlfriend. I wish it said what the incident was but Officer DID mention that Girl was "getting out of control" and "unnecessary". And it "wasn't the crime of the century" so she should simmer. He didn't actually say simmer, but the rest are all direct quotes. He sounded VERY peeved and annoyed. During lunch I called back to let them know they had the wrong number and the lady insisted I was indeed the girlfriend and that I was trying to back out of commenting. I was standing on the street, practically screaming to this woman that I did NOT have a boyfriend with a criminal background. I'm not THAT badass, LADY. I can only imagine what people standing by me were thinking as I'm trying to explain myself. HAH. Whatevs.

Also, speaking of badass, I'm officially a four-eyes. Picking up my new frames in a week. Womps. My father insists I got completely ripped off for buying expensive frames when the doctor said I'd really just need them for "ya know, driving, going to the movies.." Two things I do ALL the time in the city. SO I guess this means if you ever want to see me in glasses, take me to the movies! (I want to see Paper Hearts)

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Fam-Filled July

I am sitting at work OVERHEATING right now. It is either because a) I'm an idiot and can't dress myself properly ever and wore a sweater AND jeans today, b) I ran-walked the last 4 blocks so I would get here at 9:13 like usual, c) I'm drinking a hot bev. All I know is this isn't a good way to start my day. But it's okay. Sometimes, really ALL the time, I wish I had Matilda-like powers. If I did, I would magically turn the air on in this room to cure these hotflashes.

I've been overwhelmed recently with the thought of August starting this week. Morgan reminded me last night that July was a pretty family-filled month for me. All of the fun days I missed with her were spent with the fam-which is fine by me, my family is cute. Friday is the brother's (Ross) birthday. So, I need to figure out what to get him even though I'm STILL waiting for an invite to his birthday celebrations. I'm concerned they got lost in the mail.

Hm, I remember back in the day when my brother and my cousin were my biffles. I still can't decide if I was incapable of making friends as a pre-kindergartener (I still had my eye "situation" back then so THAT could have been why), or if they actually enjoyed my company. We were super imaginative children/mini-business people and would open restaurants out of my basement using my Fisher-Price kitchen. When my little German cousin would come to visit we would make him eat the most disgusting assortment of food-like rice krispie treat sandwiches with a delicious ketchup spread. VOM. Our restaurant was called "The Den".

And we also had our own band and we'd perform during family parties. We really meant business and would have people queue at the door early. My brother had a real keyboard, cousin had a guitar and I had a makeshift drumset constructed out of our elephant shaped toy-box. CLEARLY, I looked like an idiot. It is probably why my family thinks I'm the strange one.

Monday, July 27, 2009

make new friends, but keep the old

all this wedding talk has got us thinking (ps that video, at last check, has been viewed over 7 million times...talk about the power of viral media!) ami made her marriage timeline and i just made mine. it's a very tricky endeavor. first i had to decide who even made the list. i have a lot of fringe friends. those that made the list, kudos. i hope i didn't forget someone crucial (i like how i'm writing this as if i'm going to post my list. i'm not. sorry!) but i kept it to just 20 people. the timeline puts all my friends in relation to each other, so it's not so much about what year or how old people are when they get married. making it was super depressing as i fated 2 of my friends to marry early but divorce (isn't that cruel?) but i just see it happening that way. the timeline then led to the theorizing of which of these friends i would still be in touch with when wedding day rolls around.

it's always bizarre to think about how some friendships fade away. looking at my parents and other adults and listening them speak about their college roommate or their best friend in high school saddens me. i can't imagine only catching up with these people through an annual christmas card exchange or an email here or there. my life is my friends. how could they just fall out of my life? it makes the present seem pretty insignificant. i guess i just have to remain steadfast and adamant about staying in touch and making sure those people are always in my life. i think i'll be pretty good at that, i mean, i can always just plan super-cheesy fun days like field day '09! hey, i at least need to know if my marriage timeline was accurate...

Friday, July 24, 2009

It's Like I Waited My Whole Life..

So yesterday I stumbled upon this FABULOUS wedding video that I'm sure you have all seen by now because it just BLEW up! (Isn't he just the cutest little groom ever) I just can't get over what good friends these people have and how you can CLEARLY tell they are having the time of their life. I bet the couple had a quaint love story too. I'm thinkin' best friends for a long time, took their relationship a while to get off the ground and then BAM-they had this fantastic choreographed-danced filled whirlwind of a romance and then got engaged at 27, married at 28. Yup.

Anyway, they only practiced for an hour and a half yet it's just perfection in every step. One of the highlights is when the Groom rolls out Willy-Wonka style like a very true badass. So dorky and so perfect. There is also an old man with a solid-jolly laugh at the beginning that warms my heart. Everyone was so surprised and LOVING it. HAHA (just watched it again)..Chris Brown in CHURCH?! Who would've guessed it. This is hands-down the best press he's gotten all year. You are lucky people can be quaint to your music, C. Brown. (Anyone notice that could ALSO be Charlie Brown? Strange.) I am now requiring that Future Husband be VERY willing to have as fun of a wedding. Gah it makes me super excited to get married..though I AM quite a few steps away from being close to that. I hope my friends all know that they WILL be making fools out of themselves for my amusement.

I also timelined my predictions for when I think my friends will wed. It's a really crazy, crazy thought but I'm super excited so those at the beginning of the list better get to it! Go watch the video!

really, dunkin' donuts, really?

so i subscribe to a news feed for the qsr (quick service restaurants) website for work, meaning i'm totes in the know about all things fast-food that we don't get here in nyc. dunkin donuts has just decided to launch a chicken parmesan flatbread sandwich. say whaaaa? a donut place is selling chicken? that makes me very uncomfortable. talk about confused branding. i can only imagine the horrors of how/where/why they have chicken in back room next to the donuts and bagels.

as a new englander, i'm supposed to love dunkin' donuts. and when i'm home, i do. but here in nyc dunkin' donuts drops the ball hard core. now, i need my iced skim latte every morning before i can function and starbucks usually gets my business for two reasons: 1. they accept credit cards 2. they're fast. now i know fast equals crappily brewed espresso, but i rarely have time to watch my shot of espresso pulled by an expert when i'm literally hauling ass to either class or work. if an extra three minutes in bed means not stellar lattes, i'm okay with that. my caffeine addiction, however adds up really fast and my bank statement is rather embarrassing as it's littered with $4.06 charges everyday from starbies. whatever, that's where i choose to spend my money and i don't eat breakfast so i've made peace with it.

back home, townies are die-hard dunks fans. gotta get up, drive downtown and get your medium iced vanilla with one sugar (or whatever your fancy is) before your day can properly begin. i can't tell you how many hangovers have been fixed by this practice at 7 am. starbies is looked down upon, it's pure snobbery.

this doesn't translate to nyc. at all. dunkin donuts here are ghetto. and, more importantly MORE EXPENSIVE. wtf. how is that even possible. last summer, i thought, all right, $4.06 is just too much to be spending everyday, i'll be a little more economical and go to dunks (to all of you who think the solution is brewing my own coffee, sure. i went through that phase. but honestly, i prefer lattes and sure, i could brew my own espresso, and keep my fridge stocked with a lot of milk so i could craft my own iced beverages every morning. but let's remember my number one priority. efficiency. i'm willing to pay for it.) to my complete and utter SHOCK, dunkin' donuts was actually $.50 more expensive than starbucks!! who knew such a travesty was possible?!? let me tell you, i've gotten in more fights with dunkin' donuts staff (sorry! it's the caffeine withdrawal speaking) than i'm comfortable admitting. but really, poorly brewed espresso for wayy too much money that's almost always made slower with more errors than at starbies? no thank you. my biggest discovery this summer has been oren's coffee. they charge $.5o less than starbucks AND offer a frequent buyer card. done and done.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

cuppycakes- a shout out to ami

i got sent (along with my swankyy rainboots) a martha stewart cupcake cookbook on monday and have been plotting with the roommates all week which batch we would start with. they're fabulous and wonderful. each and every one of them. well at least the pictures make them look that way so we had a tough time deciding which recipe to test out first. we (and by we, i really mean dan and ami battled until a compromise was reached) to try the chocolate chip cupcakes with chocolate and vanilla frosting (someone didn't want chocolate while the other did. you guess who.) it seemed much more intimidating than it actually was considering it involved egg whites whipped to stiff peaks, folding, and flour coated chocolate chips. our oven bakes especially hot too, so i was deeply concerned we were headed into a recipe for disaster. bah.

facing our fears head-on, my assistant ami donned her child's sized dinosaur's apron and a-mixing we went. it got awfully hot in the kitchen, but the 30 cupcakes turned out barely burnt (well, a couple were, but come on, we had 30 aka room to spare) of course martha called for homemade chocolate frosting that i have to say did look divine, but that also meant 4 1/2 extra sticks of butter. with dairy prices the way they are these days? no thank you. duncan hines to the rescue (fun fact: i was reading in my gourmet mag that the largest duncan hines memorabilia exhibit is in bowling green, kentucky. one more reason to road trip and conveniently stop at sonic.)

all in all, the cupcakes were really more muffin like than cake like, but due to our tiny nyc-style apartment (a crowded oven), our limited budget (all-purpose flour instead of cake flour), and our lack of proper baking supplies (no sieve to sift the flour, plastic bowls used to whip the egg whites, a pancake flipper used to fold), it could be completely our fault and not the recipe's at all. i'll give you another shot martha. perhaps we'll try the raspberry cheesecake "cupcakes" next?

true confessions: i ate one of the "muffins" for breakfast this morning. but don't worry, i chose one that was unfrosted.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Fruit Flies.

Luckily the rain DID go away! Lets all hope the sun decides to hang out more often and the nimbi leave us alone. So last night was Trivia Night, and we unfortunately did not rock as well as last time. Maybe Papa B needs to come back and play with us. But all day yesterday, I kept sharing the tidbit that fruit flies were the first creatures in space-thanks to us Americans. So when the question came up asking what the first creatures in space in 1958 were, I was awfully proud of myself for pulling my weight and offering an answer. And then they read the answers. And the "correct" answer was mice. Devastating.

So I have been researching and fruit flies, were indeed sent to space in 1947. But I guess the whole year thing makes my answer null and void. Womps. Tis okay. I'll get em' next time.

Oh, there is a baby doll lodged into the crossing light on 1st and 16th. I'm going to track how long it lasts there, just for funsies. I wonder what nutzo decided to put it there. Maybe they were under the spell of the solar eclipse! And if you're reading this and in one of the countries that can see it, I am way jealous. And yes, unridiculous is actually internationally known, and locally respected.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

rain rain go away

i'm pretty sure i jinxed the city by bragging about our good weather over the weekend because it is an absolute downpour today. whoops. good thing i got my brand new rainboots in the mail yesterday in BRIGHT yellow!

perfect for puddle splashing, which happens to be one of my favorite activities. the rain sure makes it easier to be in an office all day when the weather is crappy. yesterday was so nice that i walked home from work but i don't think that will be happening tonight. especially because tonight if FILLED WITH FUN. that's right. it's tuesday night triviaaaa! this week's theme is two fold according the trivia guru: space flight and robert de niro . neither of which do i know anything about so tell me all you know! it's been a couple weeks since our last showing, so team unridiculous has to represent. we're going to have to bring our A game since my dad isn't here, but hopefully we'll fare well. i've already obviously purused imdb for fun de niro facts and ami has been looking up some space facts but i should probably refresh my current events/random knowledge because that for sure comes into play.

Monday, July 20, 2009

"you were a child"

clearly, life has been a little hectic since our last post.. and by ours i really mean ami's. i can't believe we deprived the readers for 4 days. i'm sure you were all outside enjoying the fantabulous weather this weekend. for all the rain we've been getting (damn you, nebuli for interrupting the ny philharmonic in central park friday night. damn you.) we've also been getting some pretty glorious days that aren't too hot or humid, full of sun and always bring a light breeze of fresh city air. i made the mistake this weekend, just like i always do, of not catching up on my sleep enough. it's one of my biggest pet peeves; going into the week tired, and i always kick myself for doing so. saturday (field day '09! woooo!) was a complete success and i'm sure ami will go into her pedophiliac ways in her post so i won't steal her thunder. but it's hard to drink from 3 pm to 3 am and then suck at napping on sunday.

mostly i couldn't sleep because i was deeply concerned i may have permanently damaged my ears saturday night. we went to a wicked fun place, called pianos (go, all of you!) that sent me right back to europe. the dj (replay ceviche) came on at 2 am and the music was perfect. when they played mgmt the guy next to my left literally held up an invisible mic for me to sing the de de de dede de deeee de part of "kids." hipsters make me laugh so much. pretty much every song got the entire crowd going and, apparently, it was deafeningly loud. i didn't realize that was the case until we left and i couldn't hear. anything. you know the phrase deafeningnly quiet? well, i'm pretty sure this was the case. running to our cab, none of us could hear a word the others were saying soo i'm pretty sure we were screaming. we got home, continued to scream waking up the girl sleeping on the couch i'm sure (sorry!) and passed out. i thought all would be well in the morning, but unfortunately, that was not the case. i still hear a little ringing in my right ear and that's about it. a tad disconcerting, yes, but as dr. ami tells me, it will come back. hopefully.

You're Never Too Old to Look Like A Fool..

This weekend felt like it lasted for YEARS because of the amount of stuff we managed to do. Friday was the NY Philharmonic in Central Park. Minus the whole it got rained out early part, it was really fun. The grass on the Great Lawn is SUPER bouncy and perfect for napping. I learned that New Yorkers don't mess around when it comes to the Philharmonic. People came beyond prepared for the night with HUGE platters of food, candles and lots of champagne corks were literally flying, a few times causing BATTLES and dramz.

We got in a good nights rest in preparation for Field Day '09. We woke up and took a nice leisurely lunch and then RUSHED to get everything ready in time. Fun fact: 12 packs of Natural Light (YUM!) is only $7.99 at Associated. Morgan and I carried back 5 boxes as a little warm up. It made me realize my arms are awfully weak seeing as though I nearly passed out from exhaustion and I was carrying less than Morgan. But fear not, we took a potassium break and ate bananas to regain our strength.

The games were loads of fun, as expected. We started off with a chugging competition and WOW did we all suck at that. It's VERY clear we don't go to a state school. Don't even worry though because we were all GREAT at figuring out the science behind stacking the empty cans. After some more drinking games, we finally got outside. We had a WONDERFUL game planned where everyone got 3 balloons tied to their legs and then we'd all run around stomping each other's balloons and the last man standing would take home the GLASS, hand-painted trophy.

So we were preparing for the game and I had the balloons tied to me all ready to go and I quickly ran back to my apartment as everyone else got ready. As I was coming back out, a few hm 12-17 year old boys called me over. They either thought I was their age, realized how HOT I was or maybe it was a mix of both. Well for whatever reason I went and invited them to come play. And I'm standing there and I realized how pedophile I just came off as inviting them to play-so I screamed F*CK and started running away. They followed. AWKWASARUS. It was okay though because they enjoyed playing-I mean who wouldn't? We had everyone in that oval staring at us in envy, babies included. The final round came down to Morgan (unridiculous' own-represent!) and Kevin. Morgan put up a good fight darting Kevin and his ju jit su ways. But in the end, Kevin was the day's big winner, taking home the trophy. Which I'm sure is displayed in a glass case in his room somewhere. Overall, the games were a total success-we DID lose players quite a bit as the day progressed but picking up the 12 year olds helped even out the teams. We've decided a Winter games may be in order, so be nice to us and you MAY just get invited.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Event of the YEAR.

Fun Fact: I understood EVERY word in Morgan's last post. Just because I don't read all the Harry Potter books doesn't mean I don't know that Legilimens are like mind readers, feeling-stealers, if you will. That would be common knowledge.

We are currently in the middle of planning Field Day 2009! It's going to be a GRAND event that will totes rival the Summer Olympics. I'm pretty sure I will be the Michael Phelps of the group. If you are missing it, you are a fool. If you weren't invited, I apologize. Morgan and I are awfully toolish-in the cutest slash funnest way possible-and have planned highly competitive and athletic events with a good mix of drinking. And there is a very impressive prize for the winner that will take us many laborious hours to make. But it'll be worth it. Stuytown won't know what hit it.

Last night we were discussing the most influential people of all time and in that moment, I realized my history knowledge is really sub-par. I was reading Time's 100 list for 2008 just now and WTF. Miley Cyrus made that!? I do think I remember hearing that but honestly, that's unridiculous. I also stumbled upon 100+ portraits of Iconic People of All Time. (http://www.webdesignerdepot.com/2009/06/100-portraits-of-iconic-people-of-all-time/)
It's a great way to kill the last hour I have left at work and it'll make you wise by the end. I also just decided I need a portrait painted of me. You know, jic. I can really see this blog blowing up and getting added to the most influential list one day. Right above Miley Cyrus. AND LUCKILY, I have canvi and paint waiting for me at home.

Morgan just yelled at me for not posting this yet, so I will allow her to read now and HOPEFULLY she gets the hint that she should paint a portrait of me. And in case she didn't get that until now, she is lucky I just painted it out for her.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009


Fun Fact: Fresh apples float because 25 percent of their volume is air.

On a completely separate note, i am literally passing out at my desk right now due to some poor choices i've made. i was exhausted when i got home from work yesterday, most likely because i knew i had a ridiculously long night ahead of me and the mere thought of it made me want to nap. and i tried to nap, i really did. i'm just not that good at napping plus dan kept making me talk about harry potter. which is fine, because that's obviously why i barely slept last night. for those of you that live under a rock, harry potter and the half-blood prince opened last night at midnight and shattered all records with over 20 million dollars in midnight ticket sales. wowzahhhhs. i was also on tv so it was pretty much a phenom night. we were waiting to get into the regal union square for our 12:40 tickets (yes, we dropped the ball and waited until after the 12:01 and 12:20 shows were sold out to buy our tickets a week ago. and by us i mean jason. and he didn't drop the ball, becasue without him i wouldn't have even got there) when my beautiful face was on camera with my other friends who were dressed up. no, i did not dress up. and nor did jason because he couldn't afford a cape. we're in a recession here people!

anywho, we got into the theater around 11 and had to wait until 12:45 before they even started showing previews. going into a 2 1/2 hour flick at 12:45 on a tuesday night is not exactly the best circumstance to be in. the movie was good. it was jam-pack filled with awkward sexual tension and jokes that i can't decide if they were made on purpose or what. also it should NOT be a PG movie. that shit was scary! not very well done, and the acting was kind of terrible. and the set even looked really fake. (thanks, dan, for completely ruining my ability to enjoy the movie for its entertaining aspects. you win.) and yes, if you hadn't read the books, you would have been confused to the max. (hah i just used both my roomates' names in the same blog post. i'm so clever!) hell, i was confused and i've read the books multiple, multiple times. it's crazy how easy it is to forget super important details that have the ability to completely alter the storyline. although maybe it had something to do with the fact i didn't get home until 4 am...

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

this could turn into a great story to tell our kids

for some reason, ami abandoned ME this afternoon on gchat without so much as a farewell. she must have done it to punish me for leaving her this morning, but i was out on doing a catering pitch, just like a real grown-up. currently i'm going through itunes to find more music to add to our playlist for instore music which happens to be the perfect job to which i can multitask. and write about my significantley less sketchy subway experence.

twice in the past week, i've gotten into the subway (on the 6, j.lo style) for my morning commute and seen the same cute guy. 6'2" ish, blonde hair, crisp button-down shirt with khakis. classic midtown commuter. he's in my car and gets off at 51st st just like me. normally i probs wouldn't have any faith in believing myself that it was the same person, but i know it's him because he has had the same book in his hands. so while i look all scholarly and wise reading anna karenina (i swear, i am actually reading that as my "subway" book. interesting choice, i know, but whatevss) anyway, subway guy reads skinny dip by carl hiassan, which i just happened to have read myself (thank you, mrs. white for our senior year satire section in AP english) and really enjoyed. i digress.

now, if i subscribe to ami's theory of certain people are in your life for a reason (um SKETCHY is so sketchy! and will never leave her life. i love when i run into him around campus and know all these sketchy things about him and he has no idea who i am. classic.) then perhaps subway boy is meant to be in my life. or human beings are a creature of habit and that explains why we get in the same car every morning at the same time to get to our jobs perfectly 7 minutes late every time. since i'm the cynic and ami's the optimist, i'm going to go with the latter theory.


Just a quick update. During my commute to work today, I was standing in that mosh pit that forms at the bottom of the stairs on the L platform at Union Square. Out of NOWHERE-I see a hand come DANGEROUSLY close to my face and I obviously flinch because WTF. It was Sketchy. askdjkl. (Sketchy is a SECRET name for this creepshow from freshman year) Just when you think you're safe. Arg. He was trying to pinch my cheeks. SORRY BUDDY. I'm not an INFANT. I am now sitting here annoyed at the possibility of having to run into him again. It just concerns me because this city is CLEARLY too small. And now Morgan is not on gchat so I have nothing to do but actually get started on my assignments for the day. After I update this, of course.

The other day I was talking about how certain people are just fated to be in your life. It's a fun slash quaint thought sometimes to think that you were just meant to cross paths with people. (Note: I do NOT believe Sketchy is a fate-friend) But I can think of a few people that even if I hadn't met them the way I did, I probs would have met them somehow anyway.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Did You All Miss Me?

Did you all miss me? I know that's not even a real question. OBVIOUSLY you missed me. Luckily Morgan held down the fort and posted often to make up for my absence over the past few days. It's been a whirlwind of a week but I am back in the tri-state area and now have internet access once again, hooray! I act like I went to some foreign land but CLEARLY it was civilized since it had a Sonic. And Sonic was delicious, Morgan, honestly, it was nothing bundt delicious. I also accidentally left the empty bundt container on a desk in the hotel and the fudge STAINED the wood. Arg that Sonic! Also, I had delicious milkshakes at Cheeburger-Cheeburger at JFK on my way out of the city. I highly recommend you grab some the next time you fly out!

Hm, we got home last night and my room was TOTALLY changed. Complete with a larger bed-. I like to think it's because my parents think I'm growing. And my dad also framed some weird photo of a bird above my bed. My room in general just has the strangest assortment of stuff all over so the framed bird wasn't that surprising. My dad has also framed a half-finished marker felt art/butterfly masterpiece for my wall. Oh and my dad ALSO framed a heinous "dog" I once painted in high school and put it in the living room. Trust me, those quotes are necessary. I accidentally made the whiskers way long and it started to look like a cat. The damage was irreversible and the face of the dog is now busted. And the tongue sticks out in a way that makes the dog look mentally-not all there. I've never met anyone who has looked at the painting and not literally laughed out loud. Even when I DON'T try, I provide laughs to all.

Friday, July 10, 2009

"it's nothing bundt delicious"

ami literally just texted me that exact sentence. bahaha she's updating me with her sonic endeavours. she is enjoying chicken, a sonic blast and a chocolate bundt cake. girl can eat...i've trained her well.

for those of you that don't know, it's pretty much my life goal to get to a sonic due to their incessant advertising in the northeast even though they have NO locations. trust me, i looked. up until recently, the closest sonic was wayyyy out in western pennsylvania. why, why, why? would they do that? what a waste of money and time, not to mention inciting anger among the masses who cannot experience the wonders (or lack there of...who knows? i don't!) of a sonic blast. i could probably spew for hours on this topic. i even did a mini-presentation on sonic and their ineffective advertising last year in my marketing class in paris. fat-ass american, party of one, right here among the cultured europeans who presented on audi, christian louboutin and hermes! let me tell you, that presentation pretty much fell on deaf ears. regardless, it still peeves me to no end that i have to suffer through the endless albeit rather entertaining sonic commercials and not ever be able to eat there. one just popped up in jersey not tooooo far from us, but of course, i have to wheedle an invite out of ami to go home with her which will probs never happen. she won't take me or jason home with her. ever. we've invited ourselves many a time, to no avail. i may just have to resort to renting a zip car (let's be honest, who wouldn't look for any excuse to bust out a zip car?) and chart my own way there. anybody down for a road trip?

Thursday, July 9, 2009

why pay more when you can pay less?

the main goal of this summer has been to experience as much of nyc as possible while spending the least amount of money. considering pretty much every night is like a weekend night (work be damned) we definitely cannot continue with our normal spending habits... to that end, ami and i have been rockin' it at seeing and doing everything that's been on our to do list for three years but "never had time to do" (lies. all lies...we had the time, we were just lazy-asses) whatevskis, better now than never right?? so last night we went to the debut of the hudson river flicks on pier 54 to watch iron man with hundreds of our closest friends. sitting there waiting for our other friends put me in the angsty-ist mood ever... i was getting SUPER territorial of our blanket space! these new yahhkahhs don't mess when it comes to squeezing into infinitesimally small spaces. maybe it comes from years of experience of living in shoebox sized apartments, i dunno, but it was stressin' me out. oh man just think about it, i'm getting flustered. clearly i have to let it go. anyway the concept as a whole is pretty phenom and i'll def go back, just take more blankets with me (or less people. or a better ratio. i don't know but it will work.) the pier was absolutely GORGEOUS at sunset and the weather was perfect. next week's movie is vicky cristina barcelona which could get seriously awkward if there are kids present but oh well. i find that movie very entertaining but one of the most depressing movies ever. (no one else seems to agree with the latter part of that sentence so don't even worry if you think i'm crazy. i probably am.)

we're going for round two tonight, but this time instead of a movie, we're going to a concert! wooooo. flosstradamus and matt&kim. i've never heard of them but obs spent the whole day at work listening to their tunes and i think it's gonna be pretty much a hoppin' time. i mean it's free so how could it not be fun? considering flosstradamus' website says, "2 DJs, 4 turntables, and lots of people getting buck on the dancefloor." never mind that the dancefloor is an uneven pier. done and done.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

A or B?

So as I mentioned in my last post, I made a VLOG while I was rowing. (Yes, I was recording AND rowing all at once.) That was a false statement. But sometimes, I think of strange questions and I demand Morgan answer. This question was sparked after we watched a bunch of boats row off into corners of the lake so they could make-out. Grossy.

So viewer/reader, A or B?

an excercise in creative writing...and extreme boredom

yesterday at work, the afternoon was dragging on at an unbelievably slow pace, so Ami and I decided to write a story. we each wrote one sentence at a time. can you guess who wrote what?

what follows below is the beginning of what i can only hope is our first novel...

There once was a seven foot man who was covered in freckles.But he was stuck living in a village full of average, 5'2 people. And they constantly pointed and laughed at him for not being average, but the man, whose name is maurice tt rodriguez, just thought that they were below average. One day while Maurice was eating lunch in a little cafe, he spotted a young woman and he immediately fell in love. She was only passing by and since he was in the middle of a delicious bite of a black truffle burger, he was seriously concerned about yelling out to her with his mouthful. Being a gentleman, he didn't want to disgust the quaint little woman, so he decided to finish his delicious bite of burger. Tragically, as he stood up, his knees caught on the table (due to them being extra long and the tables being sized to fit the average sized town) causing the entire table, and surrounding tables to flip over with a domino-like suddenness! He stood in embarrassment as the mess unfolded in front of him but his mind was still set on finding the young girl! Meanwhile, a plain jane waitress dashed over to help in anyway that she could, dabbing at the tablecloth to remove the red wine stains and soothing the maurice's bruised ego. As he looked around the crowds of people and overturned tables, he realized his girl was nowhere in sight! He threw a crisp one-hundred dollar bill on the table to cover the cost of his meal and damage and strode through the hedges n the direction he thought his mystery woman had traveled, nearly knocking the plants over in the process. His long legs carried him quickly through the village but mystery woman seemed to have disappeared! Discouraged, Maurice hung his head in disappointment and slowly meandered through the winding cobblestone streets towards his home.

He arrived at his home, still filled with sadness, and ducked into his doorway, prepared to sulk for the rest of the night.
He dug into his pocket for his keys, but just to top off a perfectly awful day, his keys weren't there. He thought about retracing his steps, but his frustration from the day exhausted him so he decided to sleep on his doorstep while he waited for his roommate to get home. Which normally would not have been a big deal, but tonight was the night that his roomate had decided to stay out ALL night, and even though neighbor after neighbor offered to help poor Maurice (who barely fit on the floor as it was sized for average people) he remained determined and had faith that his roommate would return in due time. Finally, at 4 o'clock in the morning, Maurice woke up to a small pat on the leg followed by a loud chuckle as his roommate found him curled up on the floor. With the exclamation "yah dumbb giant!" his relatively midget-sized roomate listened with a smile on his face to poor Maurice's tale. The fireball of a roommate essentially saved Maurice's life by unlocking the door and taking poor Maurice out of the cold while guiding his drowsy body to his giant-size bed. But Maurice, as tired as his not really that big of a body may have been, couldn't sleep with the thought of the mystery beautiful woman on his mind. He laid in bed tossing and turning, wondering if he'd ever find his mystery woman again.

And when the sun finally broke the following morning, maurice decided that his fool-proof plan was to re-enact the previous day in hopes that the woman would walk by the cafe once more.
Pleased with his plan, he skipped along to the cafe, buying flowers on the way in case he found her but as he got to the cafe he spotted a CLOSED sign hanging on the door. The disappointment was nearly too much but just as he was about to walk away, the waitress from the previous day knocked at the window from inside the cafe with an eager look on her face. "Come in!" she exclaimed, unlocking the door," I was hoping you'd return, you left your keys here yesterday!" Relief swept over Maurice as he gloated at the thought of returning home with his keys that day to shove in his roomate's face. The thought of being able to gloat to his roommate made him suddenly turn to rush out of the cafe, and being a large, clumsy giant, he once again knocked over a small table on his way out. The waitress once again lept to help Maurice, and the two of them cleaned up the mess together. The waitress decided to be brave and asked Maurice if he'd like her number to call her sometime and as Maurice pulled out his iPhone to take it, he realized he had no idea how to use his fancy new phone!

to be continued....

Monday, July 6, 2009

happy birthday, america!

i don't like how ami and i essentially spent our weekends apart. normally that's not the case at all and it never ceases to amaze us that we don't kill each other considering we spend all day together g-chatting instead of working, all night together in our quaint little bedroom and then all weekend together having adventures in the city (just like on the completely real reality show, the city.) i never get a break from the little one, but this weekend was different. as she failed to mention, she ABANDONED us for her family and refuses to take us (meaning me and jason) home with her to join in barbequeing and family fun.

it's okay though because i got to partake in family fun friday night too, out in the 'burbs at the eighth nicest golf course in the world, i'm told. jealous? i thought so. nothing's better than a wasp filled night of american pride, mr. softee trucks, phenomenal fireworks over the 11th hole? and gin and tonics. love it. saturday was a debacle filled with rooftops, day-time drinking and plaid-wearing hipsters. equally fabulous. not to mention the GALLON of ice cream jason decided was a more economically sound purchase than a more appropriately sized pint.

it was weird this year spending my first fourth of july away from my parents. i guess i really am growing up. there was a lot of pressure to find something fabulous to do, but honestly i could have been happy anywhere with the gorgeous weather, although a rooftop in brooklyn was quite wonderful as well. it certainly sets the bar high for next year's fourth. (ahhh we'll be college graduates then. kms!) maybe if ami's there it will be phenom ....

correction: i've since been informed it's the eighth nicest course in america. my apologies.

Happy Belated Fourth of July!

I should begin by wishing you all a happy belated Fourth of July. Being in the city for the holiday was actually really strange. It felt very deserted, especially since I was downtown. I did, however, have SUPER good views of the fireworks. I highly recommend you all find an employer that has a penthouse on the Hudson. Then get that employer to leave you access to her apartment when she leaves. It's wise. Do not, however, break objects on her desk like I did. I pushed a little glass coaster off her desk by accident because I wanted to sit and it shattered. Oops! She just asked me about it and I lied, and then she asked the cat if he's seen it. WTF.

This weekend felt SUPER long since I did so much. And it actually WAS a long weekend, so that may have been it too. I got to see a lot of the fam which is always fun. I took my grandma to the movies because we're adorbs. She's so badass staying out till 11 pm to hang out with me. She ALSO agreed to pop bottles of champagne with me on my birthday (which is SO soon).

My brother and I also decided we were like Friends (like the show, not like amigos). We would obvs be Monica and Ross and I decided Morgan and Jason combined would be Phoebe. I need a Rachel figure so if you think you fit that role, you just let me know! My brother just needs to find a Chandelor so hopefully he gets on that.

I spent the day in Central Park yesterday learning to cartwheel. It's on my list of things to do before I die so I need to learn eventually. I'm pretty sure we provided lots of entertainment/laughs for all the other people in the park. We also rented row boats and rowed across the treacherous waters. Kevin really rowed for most of it but I like to lie to myself and pretend like I did. It's a great date spot, by the way, and it's cheap! AND if you row close enough to the fancy gondola men, you can pretend like they're singing to you. There are also lots of trees and hidden corners that people were sneakily trying to make-out in. And we obvs creeped up on them which sparked an interesting question that I VLOG-ED! Hopefully I can get that up soon! AND the Loeb Boathouse has delicious custard.

Also, my brother said he was proud of the name of the blog, he's totally feelin' it. He then accused me of ripping off HIS blog name from 4 years ago. But whatever. Ross doesn't know what he's talking about.

Friday, July 3, 2009

Socially Awkward.

You know when you see someone you know and you awkwardly dodge your eyes around the room to avoid having to make any form of eye contact? I do that a lot. So if I've ever seen you in a room and fumbled with my phone or stared at a wall instead of just saying hello, I apologize.

Last night I was sitting on a bus when I saw a kid walking down the aisle. He just pointed at me, "I've noticed you around, you go to NYU," and I was so caught off guard all I could say was "Oh woah, ye-." before he passed me to take a seat behind me. And then I awkwardly thought to myself for a good, solid 25 minutes if I should turn to speak to him through the cracks of the seat. And after all that thinking, I decided that WOULD be weird because he was already sleeping. How did I know he was sleeping? I could see his reflection on the window I was leaning against. Don't worry, I know how creepy that makes me sound. No biggie.

But I realized how nice it is when someone remembers you or just recognizes you and makes a point to let you know. What's really the worst that could happen in just saying hi to someone you recognize? They'll either not respond, respond as awkwardly as I did on the bus OR actually acknowledge that they recognize you too.

So Mystery Bus Boy, and all the other people I've awkwardly ignored, be prepared because I WILL say hi. I hope you all prepare talking points.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

change is hard

just so we don't go crazy with all the wildness that surrounds our Apprentivor Race (awkward? i can't decide) i thought i would make a life changing announcement. i will receive my brand new iphone tomorrow morning at 10:30 a.m. via fedex!!!! this defines a momentous occasion as it is my debut into the technologically savvy phone world. my brother and dad are all about the latest and greatest technology what-have-you and while i typically eventually come around and get whatever is new after they've beta-tested 10 different versions of it. so now it's my turn to get an iphone. a black 16gb 3gs iphone. i have essentially no idea how to use one, other than the fact i've played with, and gotten very frustrated with my dad's, brother's and various friends'.

this also marks the retirement of my dear old razor (or as shalin accurately calls it the "razr.") it's bizarre how attached people get to their phones, and through some odd twist of fate comprised of complete abuse and many a devastating falls, my razor that i got before freshman year of college has now lasted me three years and is still going strong. well, relatively. i mean, the 9 button works every 5th time, the center button is falling off and every 20th or so text, the phone freezes but hey, nobigdeal. everyone else i've ever talked to had absolute disasters with their razors and it seemed for them to be very much a transitory phone. but for me, the razor has gotten me through some crazy times. i'm not really sure how i'll be able to deal with a phone i actually have to take care of while figuring out how to use it. but the prospect of all those cool apps that the commercials completely sucker me into thrills me. how cool is the allstate accident report form? OR the one that takes a pulse? clearly i need both as i drive cars all the time in the city AND i'm in med school. but seriously, any suggestions??

Well Played, My Friend.

I see your challenge and will offer you your next one.

First though, let me pimp out my business and offer all of our readers, hand-made, custom fit bracelets. Each uniquely designed, with you in mind. Perfect gifts for the family. It's almost Christmas-in-July so grab these stocking stuffers while you can! Leave a comment if you're interested!

So Morgan, grab your buckets, pots, and drum sticks because you are going to be Washington Square Park's newest street band drummer. You, by yourself (don't try to recruit talented friends) will attract large crowds, rocking your way to fame. I was going to make you become a one-man-band but we lack a harmonica. Womps.

Being the true Sternie that I am, we will COMPETE to see who can get more money, you on tips from performing or my designer bracelets. It's pretty much Apprentice. And since Apprentice donates to charity, we too will donate our earnings to our drinky-drinks fund.

Will you deny this challenge?

i accept your challenge, and raise you one...

well played, ami. well played. intimidating? yes. challenging? yes. possible? oh definitely. and bonus, it's a skill i would LOVE to have. so i better get cracking on learning the game of pool. before a re-debut my prowess at said ACE bar, (last time i "played" doesn't even count, so we'll pretend it never happened) i'm thinking i better get some practice time in at a little less intimidating of an arena. if only we had a pool table in our apartment... i guess i will have to run with the commoners at fat cat billiards and let's be honest, i have always wanted to go there. now i just need a teacher. any volunteers?

now for you, my dear ami, i have a couple ideas rolling around in my head. the first one that sprung to mind would be hilarious, but you might hate me, so obviously i'm going to make you do it. just not yet. your inaugural challenge (which was entirely conceived by my friend kelsey!) but is so amusing i decided to adopt as my own, is to craft 8 hemp bracelets. lame, you say? nay. this challenge involves a second part: you must also sell said bracelets in washington square park. i'm chuckling at the mere thought of it.

do you accept?

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Survivor Meets Amazing Race.

Morgan and I have signed ourselves up for a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. It's a game of challenges and for one month, we will be pushed beyond anything we thought we were capable of. There will be trials and tribulations, but we will persevere. We will try to post back often with updates on our progress, but neither of us know what we're really in for.

The name of the game is un-named because I made it up.
(But everything you just read IS true-just exageratted a little because I like suspense!)

Last night, we came up with the idea to make a list of challenges that we know the other person wouldn't normally do. Neither of us are good losers so the dare is an extra incentive to show how good we are at life. We'll each have individual challenges and then some we complete together (we don't want to be TOO independent-we would miss eachother, I'm sure). Since we now have a huge fan base, we'll vlog (video blog) and post pictures of our updates so you'll all be in the loop. Some challenges MAY even involve you! We already have some planned with our roomie-Dan (shoutout!)

So Morgan, my first challenge for you is to..(insert drumroll).. win a game of pool by yourself at Ace Bar. Do you accept this challenge? (If you have to play doubles, you have to make at least half the shots)

It's ACTUALLY a Beast.

Every morning I SECRETLY wait for Boss to text me telling me to not come in and just work from home. (It happens A LOT) So this morning when she texted me to come in at 11, I OBVS went back to bed.

At 9:00 AM she CALLS. Yes, CALLS. So I had to shake away my "just woke up voice" and she tells me the cat ATE through her internet cords. WHAT A BEAST. I then had to pretend like I was ready and I rushed to get here in time. I had to make a pitstop to go buy new wires to fix the problems the cat caused. But I obvs saved the day. Because I'm super.

Now the cat is sulking in the corner "with a stomach ache", says Boss. Bahaha.


maybe the theme of this blog should be "parents say the darnedest things" because my parents continue to shine in that field. last night was trivia and since my dad was in town for another 36 hour business trip (ergo i get to eat good food for free. yay!) i persuaded him (read: peer pressured in front of his colleagues) to join my friends and me at trivia. i got a little nervous as dinner ended at 8:30 and trivia didn't start until around 9 that dad might peace out before the game began but he did not let me down and even brought said colleague with him. i'm pretty sure the clincher was that trivia goes down at a red sox bar, this week during that red sox game we aren't going to discuss.

anyway, during the current events round, dad shone in two fields. in the last few years he has been rocking his pop culture. i'm pretty sure he subscribes to perez hilton's rss newsfeed on his iphone because he is all over that shit. before the trivia guru (john quinn) even finished reading "This talk show co-host is currently being sued over accusations that she plagiarized another author's work in her best-selling diet book," dad announces, "elizabeth hasselback." done and done. one point for team unridiculous (yes, that is what we named our team...we've gotta get this blog out there!) two questions later: "Recently released secret files from the National Archives revealed that in WWII, Britain seriously considered dropping millions of these on German troops as the war neared the end." dad taps me on the shoulder with that grin on his face that just reads, "i really shouldn't be saying this to my daughter, but i'm going to do it anyway and gain cool points at the same time" and asks if i want to hear his guess. obvi.com i want to hear his guess. any thoughts to what dear ole' dad came up with? (my guess was kamikazes...i guess millions of those would have been a tad over the top.) CONDOMS. i mean, why not right? down on the paper it went.

shockingly, condoms was not in fact the correct answer. what trivia guru was looking for was actually poisoned darts. POISONED DARTS?!? that's the best the british could come up with?!? love it.

though dad and his colleague peaced out after the michael jackson round, team unridiculous held strong, earning 32 points in total. considering last time jason and i went, i'm pretty sure we got 13, i'm feeling very good about our combined brain power at this point. maybe next week we'll break the top 5...

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Because it's 2009, not 2008.

The outpouring of e-mails/texts can all stop because trivia is NOT based on the 4th of July.

Morgan, reading a message from June 30th, 2008, spread lies.
Today's trivia will be about Michael Jackson. So let's hear THOSE fun facts instead.

(I'm writing this so one day, Morgan can look back on her stupidity and laugh.)

It's Just One of Those Days..

Hm so it's the last day of June. Which scares me a little, but whatevs. Today is just being one of those days. It's just blah. I want to restart it but life goes on! Let's not sweat the small stuff.

I'm going to TRIVIA NIGHT tonight which will probs make life better because I will leave tonight wiser than ever with loads of Fourth of July knowledge! (So if you have any fun facts I should know-leave a comment, or call/text/e-mail me your wisdom)

July is going to be a good month, I can feel it. Good vibes!

Goals for July:
1) See Fireworks!
2) Get to Coney Island!
3) Prove I'm capable of NOT being a pushover.
4) Have at least 5 REALLY good/random stories from our wild nights
5) Figure out how to edit the background of this blog so it's not so plain-help anyone?
6) See a meese (A girl can dream..)

Monday, June 29, 2009

"ce n'est pas de la tarte"

i read this blog called chocolate and zucchini and while it's supposed to be about food, most of the time it's filled with quaint french idiomatic expressions like "ce n'est pas de la tarte" which pretty much seems to be the opposite of our american expression, "it's a piece of cake." i like it a lot better and have decided to incorporate it into my everyday speech. example A of a situation that "ce n'est pas de la tarte" literally just happened to me. as the intern (well technically i just got promoted woo but a story for a different day) my workspace is in the same room with the call center girls. these 3 girls provide an endless amount of entertainment and with them, there is literally never a dull moment. the call center manager as she calls herself (i honestly think she just claimed the title; it was never actually given to her) is possibly the most dramatic person i know whose favorite word is "heated." she gets heated about something every 10 minutes.

anyway, she went on her break and came back 10 minutes early to be herded into the conference room. i walked by (inconspicuously grabbing a soda of course) 3 minutes later and my boss is standing with his arms crossed while she is in her seat, awfully calm for conference room level drama. eventually through a series of texts between the other call center girls, it becomes clear that the "manager" has decided to quit! out of nowhere! the office is topsy-turvy right now dealing with the fall-out and yours truly is currently the only person (untrained at that) manning the phones. i've already significantly screwed up once dealing with holds and transfers. these phones are different from the ones at my other job. ce n'est pas de la tarte!